The Value of Words

The Value of Words

Hi there, TrudyVan here,

Can the value of words be measured. I think not. In the last two months I have become aware of the true value of words. It never dawned on me to this extend before, just how powerful words are. Some words cut like a hot knive through your heart and other words bring light into your heart.

I love reading the book "As A Man Thinketh" but there should be a book called "As A Man Speakth" because you can do so much harm to another without even realizing that you are doing it. It is not so much what you are saying but how you are saying it, that does the real damage.

Do you speak in a tone that really shows your love and concern or does the tone of your voice belie what you are truelly thinking. Children are really susceptable to the tone of your voice and they pick up if there is anything wrong before you even realize it.

I think most of us have lost that ability or we just choose to ignore it because it is easier or less painful. I was speaking to a youngster the other day that had gotten himself in to some trouble and as he was speaking, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He felt that he was not good enough from the time that he could remember. That is powerful stuff. I am sure that his parents loved him but they did not tell him enough. Pocket money does not make up for not telling your child a thousand times a day that you love him. You need to spend active time with your children. The old saying "a child should be seen and not heared" is so very wrong. I personally was extremely fortunate. My mother allowed us to partake in all conversations but she also tough us that we could not take over the conversation and to respect another persons views even if it differed from ours.

Many woman are also verbally abused. That is the negative power of the spoken word. You need not even touch or physically attack a person to do damage to them. You just need to keep on attacking them verbally. That is a powerful weapon. Knowing that all you need to do is to keep on verbally abusing a person until they feel they are not good enough.

So what do you think about the value and power of the spoken word??

Kindest regards
TrudyVan

Remember each and everone of us are special as we are all unique and it does not matter what is said about us or too us. No one can take that away.

Welcome back TeejTracy

Hi there, TrudyVan here,

Welcome back to health TeejTracy. Wow! Thank you for the thousands of prayers. emails, msn messages, telephone calls that we received. Your support through this difficult time has been an eye opener. There are fantastic people in this world.

Thank you so much. TeejTracy is recovering well and it looks like another miracle is about to happen, her right kidney is starting to work.

As a mother, I am overwhelmed, not only by the faith that TeejTracy showed for someone so very young but also by the doctors and the all the nursing staff that attended and still attending to her.

Please if you have a prolonged pain in your back or from the front to the back, have your kidneys checked out. make sure you have all the tests and get a second opinion always. It is your right to ask questions for you to make an informed decision.

Once again thank you all so much.
Kindest regards
TrudyVan

Kidneys - How important are Kidneys?

Kidneys - How important are Kidneys?

Hi there, TrudyVan here

I am totally stressed out. My daughter TeejTracy, who is only 21 years old is having Kidney failure. Can you believe that?

As a mother I find it hard to work through. She is booked to go into to hospital on the 16th March and they operate on the 19th March. There is a prayer chain across the world for her and I am truly grateful, to all the members of LGT, My family and friends, even people we do not know are offering to donote a kidney for TeejTracy. How is that possible that there is still so much love and caring in this world? Well it is and we are experiencing in first hand. The Lord is Great and we appreciate all the prayers and well wishes that we are receiving on a daily basis.

Thank you so very much and I will keep you all posted

Kindest regards
TrudyVan

Live Conference Internet Training Workshops

Live Conference Internet Training Workshops

TrudyVan here,

Hello there Great People. It has been a while since my last blog entry. I have been busy with live conference Internet Training Workshops. Our members and I have just completed,a complete Article Adsense Website.

This is what we built in our training workshop.

click here to view:


What a beauty. I have already earned adsense money. How cool is that. All you stay at home moms, you really need to check out our program and join us.

How would you like to be part of a inner circle of network marketers that really do care about you. If you do you can join me now and start your new year and start your new life. A life that can be challenging as well as very rewarding in all aspects.

If you have never considered an additional or a full time career in Internet Marketing, Now is the time.

After you have joined us you will see for yourself how we use our live conference Internet Training Workshops to take you set by set until you have your own websites hosted onto to your own domain name and how you can earn google adsense.

Start your new life and new career here

Never tell me I did not give you the chance to change your life for the better

Kindest regards
TrudyVan
Lgt Trainer and proud co-founder of Socialbrats.

It sure is hard to move house

Hi there, TrudyVan here

It sure is hard to move house. So much to do and so little time. Boxes to be packed and then unpacked again. The best solution is to pack with each new room in mind and mark your boxes for each room, that way the unpacking is easiser.

Moving house is like a puzzle. Each house has different cupboard and storage spaces and you need to fit all you stuff in and can I collect stuff.

All the new paperwork, leases, payments, new telephone lines, you name it. No wonder it is said that moving house can set you back a couple of months.

I needed the change. My office was getting too small for all my files and again stuff.

Speak to you next time

Kindest regards
TrudyVan

Motivation and Emotion

Motivation and Emotion

Hi there, TrudyVan here

I have had a hard run after my mom passed away. I would never have believed that losing a loved one can be so draining. It has taken a good few months for me to recover.

I must thank all the people that send emails, left comments, send messages and all the telephone calls. THANK YOU.

You gave me the motivation to carry on and keep my focus going. Thank you is such a small word but it carries so much. What I have noticed is that people are afraid to say Thank You.

Have you noticed how you can motivate people just by saying a few small words like, Thank You, Please and ofcourse the most important words of all: "I am Sorry" These words do something deep down to inside the person that you are saying it to. You can see the emotion that is going on within that person and you will be rewarded with a brilliant smile. The smile you receive is worth it's weight in gold. That smile can never be bought.

So my loyal subscribers I say Thank You and Please pop in again.

Kindest regards
TrudyVan

Mom You are and always will be my Hero

Mom You are and always will be my Hero

I am not a poet or a good writer, but I wrote my thoughts because I needed to.

Thank you for all that you stood for

A caring ear
A soft voice
A loving hug
You always have the right solutions
A ready tissue to dry my tears

You were always there when I was ill
Your face being the first face I saw -
when I woke up from an operation
You were always there before we even needed you -
even before we knew that we were going to need help

You are truly a mother in a million
The best Grandmother
The Coolest Grandmother
The most giving of Souls
You felt good when you could give

You gave joy
you gave love
you gave hope
you gave inspiration

For all that you have given to all of us
Your family, your frinds, your neighbours,
even strangers, that you have helped
Asking nothing in return except our love

Even though you have good to a better place
You will always have our love and respect
Mom. For us you are and always be our Hero

Love
TrudyVan

Watch out Men! Words that women use in relationships

Hi there. TrudyVan here

I hope that your 2008 will be 2000 and great for you and your families.

I just have to post an email that I received today. It really gave me a good laugh because it is so true. I really related to it.

I give full credit to the person who wrote it. If you are the person or know how actually wrote it please let me know. I would like to personally thank them as well as put there name as author.

This is what the email said:

Watch out Men! Words that women use in relationships

"" Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they
are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true. ""

This is really good. I hope you all had a good chuckle.

Regards

TrudyVan

TrudyVan asks When is Love Not Enough

When is Love not enough. This is the question that I have been struggling with for a long time.

Do you think that love can conquer all?

I do not think so. I have tried almost everything that I know, but if it is only coming from one side and only for short periods at a time. Then Love is not enough.

We Woman are special. We have a special nature that allows us to love and forgive thousands of times. But we are not made to be slaves, we were made to compliment our mates. To compliment your mate or spouse is equally as important. The one cannot do without the other. You cannot join a cable is you do not have both the female and the male connections. That is the way of life. Both side should give equally to make for a happy union.

When is love not enough. Love is not enough when one of the partners lie or cheat, treat with utmost disrespect or like a slave.

Let me know your comments
Remember that you are unique as there is only one of you.

TrudyVan

How to deal with the lose of a loved one

How to deal with the lose of a loved one?

I really do not know. I have just loved my beloved mother and my best friend.

I am told that time heals all. I think when one loses a parent, especially a mother that was always there for her children, grand children, great grand children, her friends and relatives, It seems like a far away horrible dream. I feel at times, as if I am in the middle of the sea, without an anker. My Mom Jeanette, Thank you for believing in me and for always being there when I needed you.

I have come to realize that time is to short and family and friends are more precious that gold. That is the lesson that you taught us. The message that you gave to the minister when he came to see you a few days before you passed away was so special and just like you. Your message to the whole family was that we should take the memories of you and make it our own and do something special with that memory.

Do something special. Yes, your strength and your energy has and always will give us the motivation to succeed in everything that we do.

Those beautiful words spoken at your memorial will stay with all of us for the rest of our lives.

Sometimes families break-up and split apart when their parents pass away. Dear Mom You must be so happy. Your family has never been this together.

I thank you for allowing us to be with you right to the end. It was very traumatic, but you even did that in a loving way.

How to deal with the lose of a loved one?

Take one day at a time. Every time you feel heart sore or sad, take a loving memory and make something good out of it. Do not carry regrets, cast them aside and live your life as full as possible. I know that is hard, but no one can tell you not to cry or miss your loved one. It is part of the normal process, but do something that will lift your loved ones name high and make them proud of you.

If you have ways that allowed you to cope, no matter how small, please drop us a line. We can all benefit from your experience. Your comment might just be what someone needs, including myself.

To all the mothers out there, May the higher power bless you and all your family.

Remember you are unique as there is only one of you.

Regards for now
TrudyVan

How to get rid of a Yeast Infection

How to get rid of a Yeast Infection

What would you say if I told you about a marvellous book that contains all the secrets of getting rid of a Yeast Infection.

Sign up for a Free Booklet: " The 7 Mistakes that people make when trying to prevent Yeast Infections"

Visit us and check it out for yourself.

I know that You and I both know of people that struggles an ongoing battle against Yeast Infections.

Get rid of all the pain, embarressment and discomfort of a Yeast Infection, once and for all, By not using expensive and rather potentially dangerous drugs.

"This is a letter from the desk of Crystal McBride

Dear yeast infection sufferer,

If you or someone you love currently has a yeast/candida infection or have had one in the past and don’t ever want to go through that type of discomfort and embarrassment again … then this is definitely the most important letter you will read today!............

Why?

Because what I’m going to reveal quickly cures most if not all Yeast Infections permanently!"

Fantastic stuff this. To be free from a Yeast Infection, is to be free in life. Nothing to be ashamed off. A Yeast Infection can be triggered by something as small as what you eat.

Now you can treat the root cause and not just the symptoms.

This comprehensive and easy-to-read ebook which contains the complete formula, which has been found to be highly effective of most treatments of Yeast Infections. This book is a wonderful source of information that you can pass on to other Yeast Infection suffer's.

There are also lifestyle changes that will benefit you and may help to reduce the reoccurance of Yeast Infections. in the future

Thank you, Crystal.

Your ebook has made a lot of people more comfortable with themselves.

You owe it to yourself to also invest in this book and to sign up for your free booklet on the 7 mistakes that people make when trying to prevent a Yeast Infection. You can try out everything else but you will come back and get this book.

I personally endorse Crystals' book.
You are Unique
TrudyVan

Free Mammograms for Breast Cancer Could Save a Life

Free Mammograms for Breast Cancer Could Save a Life

One minute of your time, just to click on free manogram banner could just save someones life.

I have heard that The Breast Cancer Site is not getting enough people clicking through their site on a daily basis to meet their daily quote of donating at least one free Mammograms a day to underprivileged woman.

We all need to do a bit to help other woman. I have lost a sister-in-law due to breast cancer. She still had 3 small children in the house. Her husband had to bring them up without their mother that they so desperately needed. Please do not let it happen to you.

Go for regular Mammograms.

Please bookmark this site and visit us on a daily basis to get the The Breast Cancers daily quota up.

Save a life.
Just one click a day.
Click The Breast Cancer Pink Banner now.
Pass this url to other woman.
Let us make a difference now.
There is no cost to you for anything only that we ask if you would click on the banner daily or even as often as you remember.

The Breast Cancer Site gets the funding from their corporate sponsors and or advertisers that use the daily number of visits to donate a Mammogram in exchange for advertising.

AGAIN , PLEASE TELL AS MANY FRIENDS TO TELL AS MANY FRIEND, etc etc etc...

You are Unique
TrudyVan

Emergency Treatment Can Save a Life

Emergency Treatment Can Save a Life

Hello there, TrudyVan here,

I have just finished reading an article for the Heart Foundation of South Africa. It relates to anyone in the world. I will give you are revised version of the article.

It is important to keep up to date with the newer ways of emergency procedures. Do a first aid course. Make sure that you know what to do in an emergency.

Did you know that the first few minutes after a heart attack, or if a person is unconscious and not breathing? This is the most critical stage of all and you need to help that person by giving emergency treatment. We all need to change our lifestyles, our eating habits, our smoking ( this one applies to me, any suggestions on this one, let me know), our tempers, pin point our stress triggers and do something about it.

All your family members and or staff members should know how to use and apply emergency procedures. This knowledge can save a life.

The following symptoms and signs of a heart attack are only a guide line, as each person is different. When in doubt go to a doctor or to hospital. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

• Persistent indigestion
• You notice that they are sweaty
• Short of breath
• Feel ill
• Feeling very weak
• Looking very pale
• Has a pain that will not go away
• Has a pain that spread to the throat, jaw, back, abdomen and the arms
• Has a constant pain in the centre of the chest
• In fact any pressing pain in the upper part of the body should be investigated as soon as possible.
• Emotional stress can trigger a heart attack or a stroke
• Stress such as a divorce, moving house, financial worries, and a death of a loved one
• Not all pain is necessarily a heart attack or a stroke
• If you suspect that a person is have a heart attack, and then you need to follow emergency measures as soon as possible

What to do is a person is still conscious

• Help the person to sit back in an upright, well supported position on the floor, please make sure the floor is not cold
• Phone an Ambulance Service and a Doctor
• Let the person know that help is on the way
• You must stay calm and keep the person calm
• Breathe in deeply and ask the person to do so as well (if they can

What to do if the person is unconscious

• Open the person’s airway by tilting the head back and lifting the chin
• Look, listen and feel for signs of breathing
• Feel with your fingers for a pulse in the neck

What to do if the person is unconscious, not breathing and no pulse

• You must start mouth to mouth resuscitation as soon as possible

How to do Mouth to Mouth Resuscitation

• Close the person’s nostrils with your finger and thumb
• Take a deep breath and place your mouth over the person’s mouth
• Blow into the person’s mouth until the chest expands, making sure there is no leak around the mouth
• Repeat once
• Find the notch at the bottom of the person’s breastbone
• Measure two finger-widths above this
• Place both hands on the breastbone
• Press down firmly, steadily and smoothly 15 times, at a rate of around 80 times per minute
• Keep repeating these steps until professional help arrives

Be sure to practice

The main source for this article: The Heart Foundation of South Africa

Keywords: heart attack, stroke, unconscious, pain, mouth to mouth resuscitation, not breathing, emergency treatment

Link Exchanges

Hi there

TrudyVan here, and I have something to show you. You need to have back links in the link exchange program to your site that are relevant to the content on your site.

One of the best back link exchanges I have found and use on my sites and blogspots is Link Exchange

Visit their site and see if they can be of use to you.

By becoming a member, you will find that you will quickly, increase your link popularity and most of all increase your page rank. This could lead higher rankings, with more traffic and most of all sales and profit from your website.

Try it now. visit their site today.

It is a win win situation you put back links to their site and you can put links onto other top notch sites that will in the long run generate you free traffic. You need your site to be seen. The more traffic is generated the better your prospects of making profit are going to be. Good Page rankings is what drives free traffic to your site. There is a full tutorial at this site to help you sit it up. You can join as a free member.

I hope this has been informative for you

Regards
TrudyVan


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Build a Squidoo Lens

Hi there

Build a Squidoo lens, Start a world wide campaign for all the missing children

Get Paid for your lens, Get traffic, link up with like minded squidoo lenses and give a percentage to Squidoo's Charities.

Sounds good not so

Visit my squidoo lens and start to build your own at no cost. Start of small and build on it daily or weekly. My lenses are a work in progress. As I learn more I add more. You can do the same.

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It is like having your own website without any major cash outlay

Regards
TrudyVan

Living With Spinal Scoliosis and Congenital Scoliosis

Spinal Scoliosis and Congenital Scoliosis

If you know someone that has Spinal or Congenital Scoliosis, then this article is for you.

I have a daughter that has Spinal Scoliosis and her son has Congenital Scoliosis. I know the pain and truma this defect has on their emotional state.

My daughter had to wear a full brace from the time she was 9 months old. When she was diagnosed with Spinal Scoliosis, I was hit for a six. What did I do wrong? Was there something I could have done to prevent this?

No! There is nothing that I could have done to prevent her Scoliosis, So now you know it is not your fault.

My daughters scoliosis is in the "s" shape and the figures given to me by numerous doctor is that they can operate but the changes of her being in a wheel chair is 50% either way.

The choice I had to make was whether I could take the risk. She is now in her thirties and she is still walking and driving her car. Living as normal as life as possible. When she turned of age, I gave her the choice to choose for herself. She has chosen to walk until she cannot anymore or until the curvature starts to cause damage to her heart and her lungs. I give her doctors 10 out of 10 for their support.

They have supported us as a family to deal with every aspect of treatment, emotional support, especially my daughters. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting second and even a third opinion. Do not just take one doctors advice. Do you homework. Work with a few doctors at one time.

If you have a good doctor he will welcome another doctors input. There is also truth in the fact that 2 brains work better than one.

Other children can be so cruel, without even meaning to be so. They would walk up to her and punch her brace to see if they get hurt or not. It did not hurt her as much as the physiological effects. She became a very withdrawn child with outsiders. At home against her family and special friends she was chirpy and happy. At school she kept to herself and pushed all her energies into her school work.

Not a bad thing, you might say, but she missed the best part of life and that was the enjoyment of being young. She is also a very beautiful young woman, both inside and out. I am not saying this just because she is my daughter, but from the reaction she receives from people when they meet her and get to know her.

I really do not know if growing up with scoliosis and all that goes with it has made her a better person, grateful for everything that comes her way, enjoying her son and her live. Her son is just like her in character. Kind, gentle, loving, grateful and giving.

Maybe there is some truth in the saying that when one door closes another door opens. Both of them excel in Math’s and the science’s.

What is scoliosis?

Your spine does curve from front to back, but it should not curve sideward. You get and "C" and an "S" curve and this is call scoliosis. This type of spine can also be twisted or rototed. The one shoulder is higher than the other shoulder.

Most of their clothes will hang skew. Many people with scoliosis also have hypo-kyphosis. There are different types of curvatures and therefore scoliosis is different in different people. Some
children are born with spinal defects that will cause the spine to grow unevenly and this is what my grandson has.

Remember there is no prevention for scoliosis and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. All you parents out there, I battled with this issue a long time and I know now that it is true. All you can do is to be there for support both physical as well as with all the emotion that goes with scoliosis. Give them love and let your children live as full a life as possible for as long as possible.

Give them all the motivation they need to succeed despite the scoliosis. Be there, that is all they want from you as parents.

Maintain regular health and spine check up's.

Signs of possible Scoliosis:

• One shoulder or hip that looks higher than the other and their clothes do not fit properly
• Their heads are not properly centered over the body.
• The one shoulder blade sticks out more that the other shoulder blade
• The one side of the waist is flat
• Back Pain
• Trouble breathing

As a parent I would like to thank my daughter and my grandson for teaching and showing me how to cope with diversity, whatever the challenge, it can be beaten. But then I have always said:

You are unique as there is only one of you.

TrudyVan

Give yourself a fighting change. Please. CANCER can be beaten

TrudyVan
Look after yourself for a Better you

All about The "Big C" word - CANCER

Cancer is one of our most serious diseases that effects anyone, whether you are Young or Old,Rich or Poor, Black or White, Thick or Thin, No matter what your status in life is.

Remember it is not your fault that you got cancer.

There is ongoing research and development regarding cancer as a Disease and the treatment and improvement of recovery.

Remember that cancer is a very complicated disease as there are more than 150 different kinds of cancer. Some cancers are reletively easy to detect and treat, sometimes with 100% recovery rate.

Other Cancers spread rapidly through the body and cannot be cured.

In countries where there is a very high rate of Ultra violet rays that appears in South Africa and several other countries across the globe. In these countries there is a high rate of Skin Cancer.

For most part woman are more susceptible to breast cancer than men, but it is a known fact that there is a large percentage of the male population that contracts breast cancer as well. It is therefore imperative that both men and women do a regular search to enable them to know their breast and then it will be easier to recognize a difference or a lump.

The main cancers that are contracted by women are cancers of the breasts, cervix and col-rectrum.

For men it is more common for them to contact lung, prostate and Oesophageal Cancers.

There are of course triggers that can spread things alone.

Factors such as lifestyle, which includes genetics, environment and diet all, play a role in increasing your risk to contracting one of the cancers.

Sometimes there is a no known cause, no family history, a good lifestyle and dietary habits, It just happens.

There are a few know lifestyle do's and don'ts that may help you not to contact cancer and also to stand a better change of survival if you do contact cancer.

• Drink plenty of fresh water
• Cover up and always use the highest sun block lotion available.
• Eat at least five portions of fresh fruit and vegetables on a daily basis.
• Regularly exercise
• Give up smoking
• Limit your alcohol intake to one serving per day
• Cut down of your red meat intake
• Do regular self checks and self examinations
• Have a regular medical checkup and screening
• Try to stay away from over processed food, junk food and food that is high in animal fats

Early warning signs of CANCER:

Although not complete by any means and the list can be added to everyday the warning signs are just guide lines, maybe a wake up call for you and me.

These signs can also be signs of other diseases. The best if you suspect anything go get medical help straight away.

I love a beloved sister in law to breast cancer because she was scared to go and have her suspicions confirmed. She left three beautiful daughters behind.

Don’t' let that happen to you. Don't do that to your family. Give yourself a fighting change.

Please????

• Indigestion or you find you have difficulty swallowing
• Vomiting or nausea
• Your voice is hoarse
• You have a cough that will not go away
• You smoke
• You have a change in bowel or bladder action
• Changes in warts or moles
• You have unusual bleeding and or a discharge from anywhere in the body.
• If you find a lump, anywhere on your body
• You could also notice a thickening in the breast, your neck, under your armpits or any where else on your body
• Please you owe it to yourself firstly and secondly to your family to have it checked out.

It is better to be a little paranoid and stop cancer in the early stages that to act mucho or to be scared and leave your loved ones behind.

This article is written by TrudyVan. My blogspot: http://Woman-Emotion-Motivation-Health.blogspot.comYou can use this article on your site if you wish to spread the word and help others with this dreadful Disease, one of our most dangerous disease known to man. ------

CANCER.

Please send me an email at trudyvan@google.com with your website url. I would love to check out your site or your blogspot.You might just have what me readers are looking for.

Mothers are so Special

Hi there

I received an email from my daughter that was so beautiful and so true, I am posting it right now. I again do not know who wrote it and if you know could you please let me know. Such words and thoughts are so special.

Here is wishing you all a wonderful mothers day to you all. May this year be every thing you wish it to be. Remember you are unique because there is only one of you!

Here is a copy of the email as it was sent to me.

A true tribute to mothers on mothers day.

Being a mother

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family.""We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."
But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know whatshe will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physicalwounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother willleave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?"That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she seespictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worsethan watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails andstylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.
That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her bestcrystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her thatno matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for child care butone day she will be going into an important business meeting and she willthink of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of herdiscipline to keep her from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer beroutine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room ratherthan the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma.
That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children,issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed againstthe prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room.
However she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assureher that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she willnever feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.
That she would give it up in a moment tosave her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks willbecome badges of honour. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change,
but not in the way she thinks..
I wish she could understand how much more you canlove a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons shewould now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feelwith women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice anddrunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationallyabout most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss thethreat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter theexhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is
touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have
formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your
Girlfriends who may someday be moms.

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